breaking up with zach hurt a lot at first, but then i reached understanding because i do completely understand why it happened. but now, especially today it seems, it hursts so bad, just knowing we will never cuddle again, never kiss again. wd will never pick out our wedding dresses for our wedding together, i will never be the number one person zene confides too as she transitions, that will be her future boyfriend or girlfriend, because even if we become best friends again, whoever the peraon she marries is, it will be someone that she can confide those things in. we will never move to DC together so she can have a job and we can get legally married. i will probably be stuck here in the midwest for the rest of my life, which is becoming harder than i ever thought it would be. we had so many plans, i thought we were doing so well. but it ended a little over a week ago. and i keep thinking about what if it didn’t happen. i might have gotten over my fear of the interstate and driven the hour to her college and maybe slept over tonight, because i am on fall break through tuesday, so i could have, even though she has school. we would have hung out this weekend when she was in sioux falls. we almost did, but it got late and i chickened out, i had to break the news to her and my friend lex. it hurts so much. i just want things to even be the way they were before we dated, super close friends. but we don’t talk much right now and i almost feel i’m forcing it, i don’t know if i am. i want to hate her for ending it, but i understand completely, it makes sense. she can’t come home much because of gas money and she can’t be who she truly is at home so it hurts when i’m not around. it hurts, i can be happy for a littlewhile, bu times like now it hurts so badly
Grooms seeing their brides for the first time on their wedding day.
this is going to be me times about a trillion
I wonder how the Glee fandom would react to Glee covering a Nickelback song.
i would really like it
#reasons why i think klaine don’t do pda #not because kurt doesn’t like it #or because they’re gay #but because they have such an intense connection #every one of their moments are so intense and so private #that looking on for just a second even if they’re not kissing #would make anyone blush and turn away #because their love isn’t the standard high school love #or lust for that matter #they’re forever #they’re a fabulous old married couple and they understand each other on such a deep level #they’re connected in a way that when they’re together- their souls are bare for the other to see #and anyone else looking on…well it would just be wrong
i roll up 2 blankets and hug/cuddle with it to get to sleep. so far, since i started, if i fall asleep not cuddling with it i have nightmares
One of the most important pieces of advice I will ever give any partner of a trans* individual is to step back from the Internet.
Specifically to step back from the research.
When I first started dating Boyfriend, one of the things I did was read up. What I wanted to know was what it would be like to date a trans* person - if it would be any different than dating a cis person, if there would be things I should know.
I found one or two articles - none particularly helpful, and most geared towards spouses of transfeminine individuals - but the majority of the resources I found were medical jargon and psychobabble. Diagnoses, surgeries, hormones, name changes, gender markers…. some of the knowledge I gained from these were in fact helpful later on. I learned from valuable vocabulary and terminology.
But in the beginning, when I barely even knew Boyfriend as a person, it would be hard to see him the morning after I had been feverishly reading about medical procedures and legalities. For a moment when I first saw him, I would not be able to see past the cold, medicinal, sterile Internet pages I had been trying so hard to soak up.
Until he would do something dorky or sexy or funny and I’d remember that this was just Boyfriend. Just the guy I was falling for (had in fact already fallen for, but hey! Denial: It’s not just a river in Egypt anymore).
My advice to you is to take a break from the research. It’s great to be informed - it’s pretty important to be informed, actually, but it’s also important to see your partner as first and foremost what they are - a human being.
Read up when the subjects come up - or pace yourself. I kind of went on a crash course over about a month, and came out with some basic medical knowledge - but a serious lack of knowledge about the messy human realities that are sexuality and sex and gender.
So don’t feel pressured to know everything! It’s actually impossible to know everything. Give yourself a break.
I know a lot more stuff than I used to, but I sure as hell don’t know everything there is to know. And that’s okay! Because the thing is, you don’t have to learn everything in one day or week or month or year. You can keep learning.
And as always, if you have any questions at all, let me know! I can answer either publicly or privately, whatever you wish. And the anon button is there if you need it. This is a judgement free space. I promise there is no such thing as a stupid question.
Thoughts? Questions? Input?
I think this is great advice.
You can learn all you want about other trans* individuals (and of course, a lot of it is helpful!), but research can never replace just talking to and learning about your own partner. And that includes just being around them and loving them.
i needed this. thank you
[Image Description: Background is alternating triangles of black and grey-blue. A parrot-fish looks off to the right in the center.
Top Text: “I fell in love with you.’”
Bottom Text: “What’s between your legs won’t change that.”]
[a picture of 2 hearts intersecting, one with the trans* flag colors and the other with the asexual flag colors. below cursive writing reads “not your stereotypical love story”]
i was thinking if i wanted to give Zach anything for our 7 month anniversary and this popped into my head
Photo Courtesy: kayrey-foreveryoung